Over 40 and looking for a job

Soo...here I am...will be 43 this year. And I am once again looking for a job. The bulk of my experience falls under law enforcement. I am a dispatcher for a local police department but also includes the fire department and EMS, as well as a couple of volunteer fire departments. My job history used to be pretty stable...until I was forced to leave a dispatching job that I had been at for almost 4 years. Forced is probably overdoing it but that's how I felt. My now ex husband decided that he wanted to leave his position of 8 years as a deputy to go work for the DA's office in order to be home with his son that he had just gotten custody of. Anyway...he pushed me into quitting my job and taking one with a different department for more money. Ended up not working out there (I was released in probation) and I have pretty much been job to job since then. August 2010 I started working at the police department where I got my start in dispatching but I stupidly quit that job, moved to another state...FOR A MAN...who turned out to be a liar, an alcoholic and border line abuser. Needless to say, I packed my stuff quickly and came back home to Texas. To the man I really love. And no job. I have managed to get back in with my department on a part time/as needed basis but the hours are hit and miss. I have put in countless numbers of applications from Walmart on up. Several at Walmart as a matter of fact. I just had a second interview for a utility clerk at one of the small towns here in my county. Was turned down for that. Was turned down for a clerk with the drivers license office. Was turned down for a teller at a local bank. Was turned down for cashier at HEB (grocery store). Was turned down for a dispatcher for the Texas Juvenile Justice System. I can't work fast food so please don't suggest it. I worked fast food for 2 years and the stress of that almost put me in the hospital. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or if someone somewhere is giving me a bad reference.

Anyone have any ideas, suggestions or just words of encouragement? All I want to do right now is crawl in bed, pull the covers up and cry until I sleep and sleep until I don't wake up.

sapphireturtle wrote:

Soo...here I am...will be 43 this year. And I am once again looking for a job. The bulk of my experience falls under law enforcement. I am a dispatcher for a local police department but also includes the fire department and EMS, as well as a couple of volunteer fire departments. My job history used to be pretty stable...until I was forced to leave a dispatching job that I had been at for almost 4 years. Forced is probably overdoing it but that's how I felt. My now ex husband decided that he wanted to leave his position of 8 years as a deputy to go work for the DA's office in order to be home with his son that he had just gotten custody of. Anyway...he pushed me into quitting my job and taking one with a different department for more money. Ended up not working out there (I was released in probation) and I have pretty much been job to job since then. August 2010 I started working at the police department where I got my start in dispatching but I stupidly quit that job, moved to another state...FOR A MAN...who turned out to be a liar, an alcoholic and border line abuser. Needless to say, I packed my stuff quickly and came back home to Texas. To the man I really love. And no job. I have managed to get back in with my department on a part time/as needed basis but the hours are hit and miss. I have put in countless numbers of applications from Walmart on up. Several at Walmart as a matter of fact. I just had a second interview for a utility clerk at one of the small towns here in my county. Was turned down for that. Was turned down for a clerk with the drivers license office. Was turned down for a teller at a local bank. Was turned down for cashier at HEB (grocery store). Was turned down for a dispatcher for the Texas Juvenile Justice System. I can't work fast food so please don't suggest it. I worked fast food for 2 years and the stress of that almost put me in the hospital. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or if someone somewhere is giving me a bad reference.

Anyone have any ideas, suggestions or just words of encouragement? All I want to do right now is crawl in bed, pull the covers up and cry until I sleep and sleep until I don't wake up.

Keep trying sweetheart! I know times like this it's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise you it's there! Cry if you need to, it'll make you feel better. When you're done, dry those tears and get back at it. Let them know they need you as an employer. You're a great person and you can do this!!!!

I know how you feel....here I am at 47 and had to move to another province and find work. I left an oil-rich province full of employment and chose happiness and security. It's going to be slow getting back on track but I have faith in me, my experience, and my skills.

I too have had the same problems with a man....go figure! I own that decision and vow to never make that choice again! I say stop beating yourself up and feeling guilty for trying to follow your heart! Life is about growing, making mistakes, and correcting those mistakes. Did you learn your lesson for that bad choice? Good, now chin up! Think of it this way: the only direction from here is up, right? So get moving!

As for the employment situation....you can't help that. You didn't create it nor can you fix it. You can only fix you. I know, I know, you have tried to find work! Me too! Opportunity knocks when you set the situation up for it to happen. While you are waiting for that dream career have you considered other ways to keep you busy? I mean, there is only so much job searching you can do in a day/week/month. If a job isn't there, it isn't there. I too feel like I may have a bad reference, or don't know enough people to be recommended for a position. BS!! It's not YOU! It's the state of the economy. I'm a firm believer in fate and that fate will present me with the right job when it comes around. You are laying the groundwork for that right job by trying! Fate is intervening and as frustrating as it may seem you just have to keep on plugging along! Go with the flow is my motto! When you try to paddle against the flow you just create more stress for you because you feel you are failing. Follow where the flow is going and see what happens!

I'm now suffering from depression due to an idiot boss! All I wanted was to go to work everyday, get paid and enjoy my life! Apparently I did that job too well and the boss was afraid I would take her job! My boss applied to HR to have my probation period extended then went on a rampage to make me look bad so they could fire me! How's that for paranoia (hers)? All I wanted was a job, and certainly NOT hers!! lol

Good luck and just keep going! Did you know that 40 is the new 30? lol We are in a much better position than the younger crowd as we have very valuable experience and skills. Because our generation has taken better care of our health, education, etc., we are more valuable in a job than a younger person! Go figure!

Update to the job search...had an interview yesterday with a great company. The position was going to be an awesome fit for me and the pay was pretty decent too. Was taken on a tour of the facilities and met several of the "higher ups". They called me today and offered the position. Before I could tell them yes, I had to tell them that I was going out of state next month (my start date could either be now or in two weeks when I return). I was told that this news had to be passed on to a boss type person and I would get a call back. Well...you guessed it...they called me back and said they were going to have to go with someone else because this position had been open for two months already and they needed someone now that could be there. (Which..by the way..was NOT the impression I got in the interview. So what's the difference in hiring someone that has to give two weeks notice at their current job and me? Should I have NOT said anything about going out of town? This is something that has been planned for months. Reservations are non-refundable and non-changeable. How do I handle that? I'm seriously sick of this. I've dealt with an ex husband that threatened to kick me out if I didn't get a job and while my current boyfriend is an absolute saint in that department, I'm worried that the stress of trying to pay bills on his own will eventually break him and he'll tell me to get out.

On a positive note...thank you both for your kind words. I am trying to stay positive.

Stay positive hon!